Barney Stinson
- Barney: Ted Vivian Mosby!
- Ted: That's not my middle name.
- B: You kissed your mother with that mouth?!
- T: Like you've never said that word.
- B: I don't kiss your mother with my mouth. YET. (sneezes)
- T: You sick?
- B: Is it sick to find maturity inexperience sexy?
- T: No, I meant do you have a cold?
- B: I'm fine *blows his nose while Ted and Robin look on*. *In denial* I'm fine! My nose is just overflowing with awesome and I had to get some of it out. Now if you'll excuse me, the holidays are a time when people are lonely and desperate. It's the most wonderful time of the year.